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Nice Day For An SE8 Roundabout Wedding

So, here’s the now that is Thursday 29th March, 2017+Screw+I of Bogus Gasman doing a selfie in front of a poster in the Bird’s Nest advertising his upcoming wedding ceremony to Al Grumble of Nuke On Route (examples of two of the best Punk bands ever) on the very roundabout I wed Madge the Midget Mannequin on the very same date, the First of April 2016…perfect prompt to finally release the wedding album having given Hello+whatever plenty of time to pay me for the shots, but no….anyhow, continue with a speedy synopsis along with a slide show of images as it’s now my priority to publicize this prime example of thearmed909 living in the moment and enjoying every living moment of it.

 

1st year reminder

So, it was on a whim that I advertised my proposed wedding on FB, in a somewhat unpolitically correct manner in 2015 to a midget on the roundabout on Deptford Church Street outside the Bird’s Nest, SE8 to take place the following April 1st in 2016…people got in touch, I was touched…fast forward a year and I was still looking for a midget in somewhat unpolitically correct ways. Dearest Charles Hayward, a local and world-renown drummer had offered to amputate his very own legs in order to be my midget groom but I replied, ‘No, thank you kindly for the offer but that would be a crime against humanity and a musical sin like no other. I could and can not deny the world your percussive sensibility for the sake of a wedding whim.’..the absolute irony of this situation is that within a matter of days, Charles unfortunately happened to severely break both of his legs after falling from a performance from a somewhat high-stage performance in the Montague Arms up the road in New Cross Gate…

…slight detour as the Montague Arms is a rather special place for a whole host of reasons…from the top of my head in a rushed kind of state…A) the ancestral owners and their, ‘thank you, no thank you, no thank you, no thank’, kind of attitude. B) one of the local A20/A2 locations my Dad spent his stag do at. C) It was the intervention, delay in time and communication created by a friendly group of squatters that secured its place as a great boozer and not another block of flats…we celebrated the coming of 2011 (I think!) together…photos coming soon…

When I learnt of Charles’s injury I exclaimed, ‘Oh dear Charles, if only I had agreed to you chopping off your legs to become my midget groom on the roundabout, you would never have broken them falling of that very high stage.’ Alas, it was by then too late and Charles was not able to drum for many months to come. The happy ending exists though and Charles has made a full recovery and I occasionally see him passing by with his fold-up buggy carrying his drums.

The date, 1st of April 2016 came around far quicker than I was ever able to send out official invites or actually find an actual midget. It was a Friday and I adorned my wedding dress having not given up hope and continuing to keep the dream alive. Having almost lost all hope, I stepped upstairs into the kitchen and came across my dear friend, matchmaker, bridesmaid and hair-dresser, Ms. Chess Mulgrew who hooked me up with Madge the half-cut mannequin. Within minutes, we’d found flowers, Shelly and a minister. All we needed on arrival to the roundabout was a witness and photographer…lo and behold, along comes Mr Samuel Mead who courteously covered it all.

The rest is history. With moments to spare, the ceremony happened with the sun shining and we made it back over the threshold for our pre-reception drinks and cake kindly offered by Jacquiline.

However, it was only a matter of time before my eyes turned green as Madge the Midget Semi-Mannequin clearly looked a lot better than me in the photos. As a lady, you have to understand my fury. I had to force Madge to eat cake whilst I spoilt my dress spilling cake and red wine down it. Madge just wouldn’t get into the swing of things and was so stiff and non-responsive to what was meant to be the best day of our lives. The final straw that broke this camel’s back was Madge’s ongoing resistance to mixing and mingling with my friends during our reception in the Bird’s Nest. Ready to consummate we were but I just knew by closing time I most probably wouldn’t.

24 hours and Madge was still stiffly hanging out in the Bird’s Nest overheating the sound system whilst I fucked off for a random MBS night in the Flying Dutchman.

The last time I saw MY ANCHOR was with Madge. I knew when I collected Madge, even though I didn’t have to, that MY ANCHOR was a missing. It took me a while to fully come to terms with this and I have since been learning to live again.

Enjoy the slideshow below and rest assured that there’s more to come soon but I’m going to get told to go home any moment now and don’t wish this to be left pending a moment longer.

As for Al+Screw’s upcoming date destiny, I hear rumour that not only is Rachel the ordained ministress unable to make it, Screw’s due to move into his first home-home for a long while and Al has fallen in love with a super amazing lady called Rose.

By the by, I’m still planning on reclaiming love in the roundabout locality or I’ll be ‘from our bleedin’hearts’ up the road a 47 away and back again.

Unto death do we part. In sickness and in health. For better or for worse. I do wed. But I won’t fuck you.

2016-2017 meandE.R.ings…

birdsnestnewyearA ‘completion to E.R. my arse’ is on the near horizon and should be fully complete by my 40th birthday on Saturday 4th February. In the meantime, I’m curating a group show of Deptford oriented creativity for the Undercurrents Gallery in collaboration with the Minesweeper opening at the Bird’s Nest, Friday 30th December 2016 from 6pm (see flyer below for details) with a trickle on event booked for Thursday 19th January 2017, same time, same place, even more art, performance, entertainment, etc…show closes Thursday 27th.

 

2015-2016+the Inversion of Parliament

If you have come straight to this page, check out: www.rub.fm links to sooooo much music and more…you’ll even find a link at the bottom of the page back to here!

It’s a slow process for me all this tech stuff but I’m gradually getting on top of things thanks massively in kind to James in Greenwich and the Open Wireless Network: www.spc.org , Terry whose old laptop I’m now the happy owner of, Di+Mike who got me started with an A3 scanner and Rob whose internet connection I’m currently making the most of!…and always, the good ol’Bird’s Nest in Deptford…’the last punk pub in London’ so The Rub says…for me, the heart of a great community whom I cherish dearly as it is with the kindness of those around me, along with my continuing perseverance that I keep on keeping on.

Back to the title…THE INVERSION OF PARLIAMENT…there’s currently an installation in the Bird’s Nest, SE8 4RZ of photographic work and suspended labels with free gifts attached. Eileen The Cameravan, although increasingly tidier, remains of road which has caused me to build a variety of large camera obscuras out of other objects in other places instead.

With any luck, I’ll be joining the Random Artist exhibition 4-9th November (details at: www.randomartists.org ) but in the meantime, get a gist of the story on the page entitled, Other Obscuras

 

NOWHE.R.E

Undercurrents Gallery Collaboration 2016

Undercurrents Gallery Collaboration 2016

My presence on the www has been incredibly limited for some time now but that doesn’t mean I’ve gone away. Quite the contrary in fact. Examples of recent work, all in progress, are currently exhibited in the Bird’s Nest SE8 4RZ, open daily from noon til close. Saturday 6th February 2016 includes daytime obscura activity, weather permitting and live music from 6pm-3am. A cracking line up including thearmed909, JLYY and Mad Dog Collective. Furthermore it’s all free. We’ll also be hosting an evening of LIVE ART on Tuesday 16th February, 7-11pm and a closing down sale on Thursday 25th February, 5-7pm.

Eileen The Cameravan is still off-road but with thanks to the hospitality of The Hive in Hackney and some faithful support behind the scenes, I have built an alternative box camera obscura on wheels that I recently pushed and pulled from Deptford to Westminster and back again with a little help either end of the journey from Terry the Wizard of New Croz and Rankin the Clown.

In the dark hours before dawn on Christmas Eve 2015, I experimented with test shots of the inversion of parliament and they came out well all things considered. What I’d love to do next is get ETC there for the final composition at 09.09am…one day perhaps, or perhaps not…or perhaps I’ll be pushing and pulling that pesky box again, or perhaps I’ll score a lift all the way…whoevE.R. knows…

No, the Monday-Friday, 9-5 shot took place shortly after the suicide of a dear friend, Rainbow Mel John in Spring 2016. We’re nearing the year anniversary as I write. The news of Mel’s death moved me to get off my arse immediately and wait no longer for the mechanics, etc to take place on ETC. It’s like Eileen and I been held in a state of limbo for too long, since my return form Mexico in 2009. It was whilst there that the Spike got evicted from Peckham and turned into what the council promised it would not be, a scaffolding yard. (Note spellcheck for ‘scaffolders’…card/office/slaveholder’s…) Coming back to the UK that Summer and the synchronicities of being were fully flowing, furthermore, I was a few months detoxed and couldn’t have been much cleaner and stronger in my sense of being.

There have been near opportunities to fix ETC but the obstacles have always been too great for me to overcome. When I’ve had the money, access has been impossible. As access has improved, I haven’t had the money. Yada Yada Yada. The support in kind that I have received from so many folk means I can never give up on this creative quest and Mel was one of the amazing people who gave me the foundation on which to work. Mel was with me throughout the Climate Camp exposures on Blackheath and shared in the magic of seeing the negatives develop. Mel never told me I looked tired but brought me avocados. Mel was one of the kindest people you could ever have the pleasure of meeting.

Many people have advised me over time to give up on ETC. A friend likes to tell this joke,

‘What’s the worst vice?’

‘Advice’

The trip started out much like the test run on the eve of Christmas eve 2015. Access to the gate, batteries for my red bike light, adequate amounts of photographic stock, a hobbit snack, a little wrap of rocket fuel and a large dose of determination. I embarked alone and met some interesting characters on route, I also happened to lose ‘the fluff’ and my ‘THE Metropolitan Police’ whistle. As I neared my most dreaded part of the journey, Elephant and Castle roundabout, a local I know called Dave, deaf since birth appeared before me and helped me the rest of the way to Parliament Square.

The cops didn’t like me traversing north side of the river and today I’m mortified to learn that a woman has been killed on the spot south side that I perch the box at.

I don’t hang around following exposures as it’s a long journey back and the development process still has to occur. With relief I set up my darkroom in a toilet/shower room again as the excitement of seeing these negatives develop was even greater than before. I’d been given large sheets of photographic paper some years back and was eventually given large trays a year or so ago, all of which I was saving for this particular set of prints…

That’s the ‘1 after 909’…

Will met me on the Old Kent Road for the remaining part of the trip back to SE8.

You may notice what looks like nuclear fall out on the image above…this is what I’d refer to as a creative mistake and was caused by shitty adhesive, the thing is though, I like the effect, seems all quite appropriate given the state of Politics here and worldwide over.